Deus ex somnia, ens causa sui , esse est percipi, hic et nunc, in absentia dementia extant vivendi. Sola omnia, Hinc illae lacrimae, Major e longinquo reverentia, Omnia mea mecum porto, Omnia sufficit, Semper cogitans.

I will remember the promises, those hidden will grow, time will pass and the future remain.

Best wishes,

Benjamin Southall aka Appleman1234

The question of how one is , is in itself self an interesting question. Does it or any question have an answer ? Is an answer the answer ? And what of truth ? is it the true answer ? Unicorns are unicorn despite their colour.

Time appears to be progressing, like rain that never stops dripping and dripping, until everything around it is either eroded into nothingness or becomes one with the flow of the rain ebbing, flowing and pooling admist the obstacles of circumstance.

The thing about the rain is when you stand in it you get wet. Maybe it is the same with time, when you stand in it or obstruct its flow, you just get older (possibly more stresser, more tired, more experienced).

Congruently aligned with time seems to be change, both with respect to fates, destinies , attributes and circumstance, everything is in a constant state of flux. This recursively includes the change or flux itself.

My studies are progressing slowly, as I attempt to learn as much I can without succumbing to the abundant distractions. Integrity seems to be as fickle as change and time. Beliefs are precious to most, as are choices and reasons along with values.

Values that are often just trusted or abstracted to the point of boolean certainity irrespective of surrounding spectrum as it begins to boggle , beguile and dazzle the conscious dance which is inadvertently effortlessly performed with such grace , beauty and perfection that we feel like pawns on a chessboard or toy soldiers with matchsticks.

The guide ropes seem to have been misplaced along with sand from the beach, now it is just a deep blue mystical wonderland that Nemo alone ventures to delve deeper and deeper into. Further and further till the eyes can’t see anything more than the navy hue and the heart and mind care too much but not enough as to why the we have come so far.

Like waves on the shore that no longer is, everything repeats, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, but at different intervals and with changing flux as the patterns can’t be found.

What does yesterday bring ? What does tomorrow bring ? Why is time the way it is ? Patience to what end ? Patience to what beginning ? If Boolean choices are two sides of the same coin, would it matter if the coin was worthless ?

Have fun, ask questions…

Benjamin Southall aka Appleman1234

Through the eye to the tiger, time flies

Black leaf of red tree leads to minimal satisfaction

The intertextuality replaced by misfortunate circumstances

Rapture still remains with Euphoria broken and crying

She wants to go home, but nobodies home, so there she lies broken inside

Tooth for a tooth, wrestling fairies endure suffering but don’t find Buddha’s wisdom

Still hassled by the askers and the silent placing their judgement as they blink , they fail to think , relying on good taste and instinct.

Misheard words echoing through a room till the resonance takes over, the symbolism lost like a isohedric clover

Mistrust, contempt along with licquorice over powers the bitterness that rests in my fingertips and pulses through the air currents as they float by me.

Psyche and Cupid’s wasn’t told, the lovers tryst, the gods rage, the plots to thick to fell and be processed into Disney gold.

Aghast and elated the chance so fickle quickly metamorphosizes   into hope, which like the Babelfish makes it so obvious, and the smokers of logic choke on their pipes, calling for plumbers

The boxer and Galileo suffer in silent penitentiary one ensnared by ideas, the other set free.

Words not said, packets dropped, lost in overhead, echos of silence, threats of violence  , as the zombies recur throughout the echelons

Wisdom comes and then goes, as pathetic minds have buffer overflows because their thought rate can’t accelerate and their actions only serve to exacerbate their clouded judgment.

The music and bird song that is supposed to soothe and calm, instead incites the brewing storm , disregard left the window open late last week. The monsoon comes , the rains begin, even after the floods are gone,  there remains the wind.

Today I saw the sunrise, and it made me realise, just how much I was missing living in the city, though they are gone, these words still remain, reiterating and proliferating through the thought palace.

As they say we are moving ahead, but to where and for what ? Points outside of a Cartesian space, clothes spun from invisble lace, black marks on a speckled face, the dynasty’s silent embrace.

May your checks not bounce and you resolve not falter, and may you always have a crying shoulder.

Best wishes,

Benjamin Southall aka Appleman1234

How are you all ? I know I promised video blogs and things but currently I haven’t had lighting on my side, despite having the technology for a feasible implementation. Something about the darkness I find more comfortable then any light anyways.

My music is old, slowly growing and changing like most things, but it gives me inspiration to reflect, and support to deal with the emotions and illogic I encounter in the jumping , hopping and bouncing of everyday life or life everyday.

I have read all but one of the books great Aunt Jackie gave me for birthday / Christmas. Interesting what see classifies as regular / normal reading, given she is unaware of my reading habits.

Is it weird that tragedy seems normal ? Disasters seem to all ways make more news than happy things, and crisisses (I think it should be crisisi but dictionary disagrees with me, it must reserve the -i plural for -us suffix, so us becomes i) seem  to force people to action , instigating the choice of survival or death.

This choice of survival or death is just as easy of the choice of a cake or death, maybe that is because it a Boolean choice, with only two options (yes I am aware I am repeating myself / being superfluous, but an amazing number of people don’t seem to know what a Boolean / binary choice is) or maybe because one of the choices is death, and mortal beings as a rule generally like self preservation.

When you start adding other options into the question, it becomes more difficult for people to answer. For example Cake, Comfort, Liberty, Improvement, Death ? I recently watched a TED talk video on different the mathematics of the decision making and the speaker pointed out several interesting things.

The first being that when given a difficult Boolean decision with a default specified, because of the difficulty most people go with the default. (The example case was organ donation in different countries, the difference was largely because of the form for driver’s licenses being inclusive or exclusive)

The second was that given a Boolean / Binary decision, and then given a Ternary decision with the third option being similar but less than than one of the other two options, having the weaker option in the decision, made the stronger option more likely to be chosen then its alternative in the binary decision / choice.

For example, given the choice of a free trip to London, a free trip to Paris , and a free trip to Paris except you have to pay for your breakfast, the free trip to Paris would become more popular when the second option was included in the decision choices.

This leads me to think what result a survey that had the default option as death, would have in terms of its responses to the decision making process, would everyone be through in their filling out of the survey if they realised that their ignorance could cost them their lives.

Imagine for a second that every decision could that you make could cost you your life, would your choices be influenced by this addition ? Why ? Why not ? Suddenly the question of the what topping to have on your toast in the morning isn’t so trivial ? And what about the decision of whether to say Hello to someone or to not say Hello ?

We train ourselves to make decisions from an early age, but the basis and reasoning for our decisions isn’t always a rigorous as we believe or perceive it to be.

I am volunteering at the Lifeline Book Festival until next Sunday, and today I had the opportunity to work at the Helium tanks inflating the balloons, it was very interesting to contemplate and listen to the answers to the following questions

1. Would you like a balloon ?

2. If you would like a balloon, What colour would you like ?

Listening to the answers and asking the question soon lead me to the mental line of inquiry ?

1. Would you like to keep living ?

2. If you would like to keep living, What type of life would you like to lead ?

I would love to have the opportunity to ask various people these 4 questions and contemplate their answers and the motivation behind why they gave the answers they do / did.

I return to University for one more semester (hopefully)  in late February. Additionally I have various other side projects which I want to gradually chip away at.

This blog entry has already asked enough questions, and I don’t even know if my reader base still exceeds 1 (me), but you are welcome to comment / answer the questions asked if you wish.

Thanks for your time,

Best wishes,

Benjamin Southall aka Appleman1234

All my assessment for this semester is completed and now I just await my results. Now my eyes / mind / various other squishy appendages turn to all the objectives and things that piled up on my floor or been pushed aside. (Actually my floor is clean, suprise I actually managed to clean my room whilst studying). Meanwhile I have been organising what needs to be achevied during both this gap from study and in the following semester.

Spent a large amount of time looking at networking equipment (switchs, routers, smart switchs,etc), (hacking NG GS608s via eeprom to enable the BCM5398 smart managed switch features, if NG has them turned off), as I have several LANs coming up and various purchasing decisions to contempt and iron out. Ironing makes me feel like eating waffles. I also have to organise some visual / video stuff inorder to work out a movie night I am having with a grandparent.

Was part of an interesting discussion the other day regarding the value of life ,whether the creation of life was just as immoral as the destruction of life and whether creating life, just lead to the newly born experiencing pointless suffering. ##philsophy on freenode isn’t what it used to be, in fact I don’t think it ever was what it used to be. As the semester ends, I have recently been answering various questions about my future and the possibilities. The more I think about it, the more I realise that the answer isn’t something static that is easier to vocalise into comprehensible means.

The steps we have control over are the steps we take, and we can only take one or two or three or possibly seven steps without falling over in an heap / queue / stack / <insert data structure here>. Incandescent featureless footprints taken in the fabric of time, make me wonder whether such blemishs have an impact in the grand scheme of things.

Best wishes and have fun

Benjamin Southall

I was going to write another joke post similar to my QUT IRC sketch, but then I realised that I wasn’t feeling as satirical at all today. So instead I have a few things to update people on and a few more things to mention and poke a sharp pointy non stick like object at for all to ignore. Firstly I am not blogging to you all live from Hamilton Island, and I am not from the UK. To my parents, my siblings, my grandfather, my godfather and anyone else that reckons I should attempt to masquerade as the Best Job in the World winner, I say thanks for the suggestion but no thanks.

Attempting to masquerade as this person, would probably involving me changing my appearance and gaining an English accent and hiding the person I would be impostering in some sort of underwater pressurised cell in my secret underwater lair in the Great Barrier Reef, and fun and awesome as this all is, If I actually attempted to do it, their would be several consequences which include

• One of my secret lairs would being no longer secret
• I would have to blog to world why the Great Barrier Reef is awesome and spend a lot of time snorkeling, which isn’t that hard to do but takes away time that I need to work on my university assessment.
• Eventually I would get busted as my English accent would be not good enough or I would get knighted by the Queen for services against the Global Recession and services in support of conservation for my English accent being too good

A second thing I should mention is my pagerank still seems to be intact despite families assurances that I had been bumped to the 8th page of Google when they used Macca’s Wireless to check emails and stuff (This is why you shouldn’t let your siblings get addicted to WoW and other online games, as then the shared internet connection goes away and the other family members have to resort to Macca’s wireless).

The amount of media hype regarding this job, got me thinking about it, particularly as the person who won it has a similar firstname and the same surname as me. He gets to housesit a luxury house in Hamilton Island for 6 months, to basically have a six month vacation and gets paid $150k for it.  Evidently it is a publicility stunt, apparently $100 million of publicity from the media hype on media hype has already been generated. And this very good for QLD’s tourism industry, to quote Ruth Apelt’s song “Tourist-led Recovery”, “yeah we’re banking on a tourist-led recovery, that’s what I know, that’s what I know, and in QLD we say, yo way to go!!”.

But is a paid vacation really the best job in the world ? I mean 150K for 6 months is approximately $834 dollars a day or $105 dollars an hour for an 8 hour work day. In terms of rate of earning there are plenty of other jobs that can earn people $105 dollars per hour for an 8 hour work day, so it doesn’t win there, but I do suppose it is rather cushy. However once that job is finished, the money stops, like all employment, however the personal publicity he will obtain, would probably help him find future work.

But is the rate of money earnt per hours worked the most important thing in making a job the best in the world ? From an altrustic perspective it certainly isn’t, from that perspective the best jobs in the world would involve the saving, supporting and development of other people’s lives. This would have people with Doctor’s without Borders and councillors and social workers as having the best job in the world. From a hedonistic perspective the Hamilton Island job isn’t the best in the world, because in terms of hedonism, there are other jobs that cause more pleasure for less sacrifice or pain. From an egoist perspective the job isn’t the best in the world , because it isn’t ultimately in the individual’s upmost best interest’s as if he was offered a better offer, he would be then obliged by belief system to take it.

Jobs are perceived by most people as a means to an end in earning an abstracted concept which humanity assigns value to. The best job in the world is when your occupation isn’t a chore or a job, but is a passion, so you don’t even perceive as being a job or a means to end, you do it because you love it, despite the consequences negative or positive.

What do you think is the best job in the world and why do you think that ?

I would love to write down some more on this question but I have to get back to work on my university assessment.

Best wishes

Benjamin Southall aka Appleman1234

From Fools and deception, to new life, remdemption and the Spring Equinox in the Northern hemisphere anyways, considering that most know this time for its church services and chocolate egg, I guess we haven’t moved that far at all.

Holidays are symbolic and holiday spirit and passion for holiday traditions is a state of mind. I don’t think Maple or wxMaxima (CASes) would be able to solve or derive the meaning of them anymore than most humans do.

It is so easy to get caught up in the hype and FUD (fear, uncertaintity and doubt) and lose sight of our heritage s human beings and the rituals that were so important long ago, that have since been misplaced. It isn’t hard to become engulfed into mass indoctrinism whether its purpose is economic in the supposed crisus or religious in times when a lack of belief ,faith ,hope and trust in ourselves is so common.

I have been almost as busy as the bees that helter skelter from spring flower to spring flower in search of pollen. My tasks however to be a less leisurely pace and are accompanied more with clattering of keystrokes and whirring of  computer fans.

Buses are fun to miss by two minutes. Puzzles are fun to solve, especially if your short on time. All the life and death carefully modelled with non linear ordinary differential equations and then steady states found and typed up into Latex via Lyx.

Balance is important in more ways than one, considering how much I was sneezing on Tuesday. I have rediscovered and given new life to some things that have been dormant a while including the LainOS revival project, several changes to how well rebecca(eeepc) is runnig from a kernel update, the acquisition of an 18plus card and various other things. (UXA causes Blender menus not work render properly, EXA causes title bars of windows to be slightly glitched)

After this LAN I am at ends today,I will probably catch up on sleep and then proceed to working a precarious pace towards the goals I need to reach. For the moment for  the buses missed, I will just have to catch the next ones.

Meanwhile I will just keep swimming, rembering, bideing my time, hoping that everything falls elegantly into place.

What does spring mean to you ? What puts a spring in your step ? Does your life feel redeemed by your existence ?

Best wishes,

Benjamin Southall aka Appleman1234

Today has been interesting. Friday also was a good day, in which the QUT Tabletop Gaming Club, had our first games night in the new room allocated to us. Games of Magic, Stratego, Chess and Monopoly were played and fun was had by most, if not all.

I also managed to have the online discussion with my INB302 group members the other night, which was quite hectic, but productive.

I have been thinking more and more about recursion as a measure of proof of complexity and a partial proof for reality. We can currently create using our minds or computer , worlds other than the one we appear to exist in.

Phenomenologically these worlds exist to us, however unless communicated we can’t share or clarify there existence with others. In these worlds that we create however, we can make characters, and it perceivable that if those characters had minds, they could create worlds and characters with minds, and so on and thus forth.

You could also use this recursion to create a circular logic structure / paradox, in which your existence is phenomenological creation or observation of the character’s mind , which is the other character’s mind which is in your own.

Currently the hard AI to attempt to simulate reality with free will at an accurate level hasn’t been estabilished, we don’t even have the hard AI to have an inanimate object interface with our reality as though it was sapient and sentient, let alone the hard AI required to implement free thought, imagnation and creativity.

In between the lines of reality, hyperreality, subreality and cyberreality, does recursion of this form benefit us ? Are sophism or solipsism valid mechanisms for thought and approach. Different people interact with the same shared perception / consensus of reality in different ways generating their unique (phenomological) experiences.

Paradoxes are useful when dealing with recursion because they give it a pattern and ocassionally a breakpoint, in which it can revert to a different frame of reference.

Communication of thoughts,ideas and emotions is simple but difficult, because we make it so, in non-dimensionalising and parameterising our dialogue is such that it doesn’t isomorphically from person

A says blah, blah maps to blah2 in common for person A, blah2 in common for person B maps to qwerty. Person A says blah, blah means blah2, blah2 then gets converted back to qwerty so that Person B, understands what Person A is saying.

Person A says blah, Person B hears blah, Person B asks which blah or what do you mean by that ? Blah in what context ?

We need a language that is connationless, emotionless and is such that meaning of the message is shared between two or more unique (phenomological) people.

Ideally if we our brains all work the same way / structure, except with different associations and memories,we could have a thought based language that mapped what were thinking about to a global language value and then attempted to map that value into equivalent or  component parts of another person’s thoughts or memories.

It would work like the Babelfish from HGTG, except it would be based on brainwaves and signals. Something like this is much easier than the current system that allows the analogueness of our vocal chords,body language and an ambigious spoken / written language.

The latter attempts to emulate the isomorphic mapping but isn’t able to due to  both parties mapping their respective phenemological values to the same word and then getting upset when their communication doesn’t ensure that the message is communicated and understood.

Avoding or ignoring something doesn’t make it go away or not exist. (Mildly better strategies include blowing it up (which should reduce most objects to smaller pieces) or setting it on fire (which either makes it on fire, or turns it in smaller piecies which have been burnt)).

Avoidance doesn’t resolve a problem.  Some problems can be resolved by fire and explosions, however this does bring about certain results, intentional or otherwise due to causality.

Can we draw lines ? Are Lines real ? Is Sand real ? Is Sand anymore real that Lines ? If we avoid Lines, we draw only using dots, if we avoid sand , how do we know if it is real ? If we set sand on fire or explode sand and do a decent job of it, we should get glass , but can we set lines on fire or explode lines ?

Best wishes and have fun,

Benjamin Southall aka Appleman1234

Last day before uni goes back, I guess the time has seemed to have flown, but really it just passed by occasionally knocking me off my feet, although more seldom than the random acts of dancing which emotivity throws at me.

The lines between the past, present and future seem gauche, and almost reveal in impressionist values as synaesthesia meets phantasmorgia in my minds eye, propelling me deeper in questions.

So much to accomplish in this year, as I quiet sat reading about General Monash, I reflected on commonalities and disrepencies between my life’s choices and the choices of the real and fictious characters in the stories I stumble accross and then unabashedly dive into, promptly misplacing my scuba gear.

The book on him, not only causes me to feel proud of him, but proud of the ANZAC spirit that he instigated and orchestraed, let alone bore witness to.
I wonder whether it is the same spirit now or like if all things it has been improved and modernised throughout the passage of time.

There are lots of new students with their dreams and illusions intact all queueing for ID cards, or looking cluelessly at maps, because despite graduating from secondary education, cartography, geography and orienteering weren’t their strongest points.

I begin to wish that the IOU GURPS would orthogonally project itself to reality, rather than just act as memory augmentation HUD in my minds eye.
People change but remain the same, the grace and class forlorn but hopeful given the current circumstances.

I also had the pleasure or misfortune of attending a book launch / meet the author session of a book that I thought would be relevant to my investigation on the definition and mathematical modeling of relationships and love, but instead turned out to be an attempt at mass simplication of determinstic hyperstereotypical numerology, but no justification was given for the choice of ruleset and significance associations.

So unlike the remainder of people attending I could see the author skillfully projecting, sight reading, physcoanalysing and hyperstereotyping the crowd before he got their birthdates, maybe my intuition is too keen, maybe my analytical ability spoils the magic of his supposed trick of divining what is best for people based on discrete set theory, linear algebra and largely astrology.

Of course knowing how the magic works, probably spoils the trick. When querying the author, I found that he had little interest in mathematics or indeed the causality of deterministic philosophy supporting his text (if you could call an A7 or A6 pink pocket size book a text ….) and that his origins were more rooted in Astrology and Palmistry.

Neither did he seem to appreciate my historical knowledge of number systems and the history and origins of numerology.

Personally as a recommendation to anyone who reads his book,that both you and you proposed partner undergone personality tests, have a realtionship discussion and identify both yourselves and each other, before deciding whether your love life really does add up.I also recommend that you believe in what you want to happen, because if you believe in it, it is more likely to happen, simply through your belief.

The bushfire seems to be all over the news,  and the public seems to be enthuastic to give despite fears of recession (which is interesting, the fact the we have known about  this recession for at least 5 before it was coming, and if I had my way, there would have been no ecomonic bailout, and society would be forced to regress to a prior state or to innovate in order to survive.), and it strikes me as odd at four particular things.

Firstly, the fact that arsonists give pyromanics a bad name. Pyromaniacs love fire, they like watching fires, lighting fires, feeling heat from fires. Most pyromaniacs know how to safely light and extinguish fires that won’t spread. This doesn’t mean they stupidly light fires that become bushfires and kill people. (I could say more on this point, but I won’t , else my rage ignite with passion and burn down people’s mentalspace)

Secondly, the fact that people are pretending to be victims and stealing donations, I mean come on, where is your respect, where is your honour , where is your pride ? Such everyone has their charity, but what else missing because of that ?

The IT Crowd says it best when they say “You wouldn’t steal a handbag. You wouldn’t steal a car. You wouldn’t steal a baby. You wouldn’t shoot a policeman. And then steal his helmet. You wouldn’t go to the toilet in his helmet. And then send it to the policeman’s grieving widow. And then steal it again”  (People do depraved things like this for two reasons, one for the lolz, two because they don’t think they just do ….)

Thirdly, the fact that people wait till disasters to help those that are victims of circumstance, instead of just always helping those who are victims of circumstance, day in and day out, why is quick fix charity to a temporary problem made more important than regular charity to regular people to constant problems.

Lastly, the fact that so many people were ignorant of the fires and hence it cost them their lives / their homes. The television media is all over the fires after they burned down parts of Victoria, but when the fires were burning and warnings and messages were broadcast over the Internet and radio, not many people got the message.

Ignorance has a significant cost. The weather on the news has flood warnings , so why not other disaster warnings. Also the ignorance of people to being aware that the area that they have residence is prone to bushfires / floods / etc.

Of course, my entire point is if people actually built biomes , then this wouldn’t be a problem as the atmosphere and environment would regulated but The Wilderness Society doesn’t seem to agree with that strategy for conservation, probably as something to do with their lack of influence and budget restrictions.

Best wishes,

Hope to catch up with people,

Benjamin Southall aka Appleman1234

My head hurts courtesy of the 4 hours sleep and the lethargy attempts to consume me whilst choking and hicupping madly. Threadspace Hyperbol is an interesting distraction, and my reflections on psychology, humanity and other odds ends prance about like a young elk in the spring time.

I am now free from scheduled uni contact time till next year. However I am still required to sort out the CRA mess for one of my group projects, if the lecturer gets back to me, and also to start work and study on two of the subjects I am doing next semester. (repeating Advanced Calculus and project work for the Capestone Project subject).

I am also attempting to lavish my time on a daunting but magnificient swarm of projects and activities.  One is these is my quest for employment, so that I can restock my dwindling funds. Anyone need a part time /contract codemonkey / software engineer or nix sys-admin , or computer problem’s fixed or tution of certain subjects, please let me know.

One of the activities I will be focusing on is more time into updating this blog / website, with the retheming plan going ahead and the uploading and creation of more content. Soto ayam is good for the soul, despite the ignorance of remembrance and death.

I will also attempt to provide some audiovisual material, creative odds and ends, and some extracts of varying literal coherency and cohesion.

At least I am not dead, and ameliration is possible despite vagrancy of mind.

Status:

Foot : Sore

Laptop: Broken, possibily getting Asus EEEPC 1000H as replacement

NAS: Getting fixed in Taiwan

Uni: IT stuff I should be fine, Maths stuff hoping I pass

Social: Still trying to sort out the reasons behind the loneliness and lack of contentment of my own company.

Rest of Life: Pretty much a ball pit of flaming BBQ chaos with a nice salad dressing and some exotic dip

This post’s question is how do you find yourself admist yourself in everything else ?

Best wishes and have fun,

Benjamin Southall aka Appleman1234