Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category

Stung, logophilia chances to dance from circumstances that seek amelioration

Saturday, February 13th, 2010

The partridges return in their dance

Through the eye to the tiger, time flies

Black leaf of red tree leads to minimal satisfaction

The intertextuality replaced by misfortunate circumstances

Rapture still remains with Euphoria broken and crying

She wants to go home, but nobodies home, so there she lies broken inside

Tooth for a tooth, wrestling fairies endure suffering but don’t find Buddha’s wisdom

Still hassled by the askers and the silent placing their judgement as they blink , they fail to think , relying on good taste and instinct.

Misheard words echoing through a room till the resonance takes over, the symbolism lost like a isohedric clover

Mistrust, contempt along with licquorice over powers the bitterness that rests in my fingertips and pulses through the air currents as they float by me.

Psyche and Cupid’s wasn’t told, the lovers tryst, the gods rage, the plots to thick to fell and be processed into Disney gold.

Aghast and elated the chance so fickle quickly metamorphosizes   into hope, which like the Babelfish makes it so obvious, and the smokers of logic choke on their pipes, calling for plumbers

The boxer and Galileo suffer in silent penitentiary one ensnared by ideas, the other set free.

Words not said, packets dropped, lost in overhead, echos of silence, threats of violence  , as the zombies recur throughout the echelons

Wisdom comes and then goes, as pathetic minds have buffer overflows because their thought rate can’t accelerate and their actions only serve to exacerbate their clouded judgment.

The music and bird song that is supposed to soothe and calm, instead incites the brewing storm , disregard left the window open late last week. The monsoon comes , the rains begin, even after the floods are gone,  there remains the wind.

Today I saw the sunrise, and it made me realise, just how much I was missing living in the city, though they are gone, these words still remain, reiterating and proliferating through the thought palace.

As they say we are moving ahead, but to where and for what ? Points outside of a Cartesian space, clothes spun from invisble lace, black marks on a speckled face, the dynasty’s silent embrace.

May your checks not bounce and you resolve not falter, and may you always have a crying shoulder.

Best wishes,

Benjamin Southall aka Appleman1234 :)

Legacy of the Unforgotten, Doomed from the Start, Room Cleared

Monday, April 27th, 2009

Hi,

Got to attend the dawn service for Anzac Day, sprinting to it through the city at 4am after 21 hours without sleep, food and water(was coding an assignment) is an awesome experience. Anzac Day doesn’t really mean something to you until you have connected to those who you relate to who  suffered.

Just like out of sight , out of mind in the Beach and in Brave New World. After connecting with my great aunt and reading Monash and several other books on the Anzac legacy, and being told how my nose is the same as an ancestor of mine, who was in signals in France in WW1, their legacy feels more relevant and related to me as it stands.

My room is now clear and my trading card games are all sorted. I also got excursions into design of experiments using Haguchi methods and Fractional Factorial analysis.

I have also discovered that rss feeds , digg and reddit, delicious and other aggregators of relevant information make tradtional news information sources seem boring, irrelevant, biased and ridiculous. Newspapers and television seem gloomy, hypercritical and emotive wrangling.

I am aiming to get recording working again, so I can start audio / video blogging, and performing some of my skits. rebecca (my eeepc) is working  quite well other that the occasional DRI2, UXA , GEM Intel graphics glitch. I am allocating time to fix ulrica , but I really need to focus on the INB302 project, as not as much work got done of that during the break.

I learnt my lesson with this INB381, start early, and just use structs instead of C++ std containers, because the design we are given for polygon meshes leads to cyclic dependency which doesn’t mix well with constructors that take other classes, which depend on other clasess which take other clasess etc.

Forward declaration didn’t work, neither did layer 1 struct encapsulation, conversion to structs or layer 2 or 3 struct encapsulation may have worked but I didn’t have the time.  So at least in the second assignment I should do better.

Currently I am hoping that I get the chance to juggle everything well and that things blossom into awesome, because juggling awesome is fun.

Best wishes and best of luck

Benjamin Southall aka Appleman1234 :)

Orientation Reunion, Freshthings, and other news

Saturday, February 21st, 2009

Hi everyone,

Last day before uni goes back, I guess the time has seemed to have flown, but really it just passed by occasionally knocking me off my feet, although more seldom than the random acts of dancing which emotivity throws at me.

The lines between the past, present and future seem gauche, and almost reveal in impressionist values as synaesthesia meets phantasmorgia in my minds eye, propelling me deeper in questions.

So much to accomplish in this year, as I quiet sat reading about General Monash, I reflected on commonalities and disrepencies between my life’s choices and the choices of the real and fictious characters in the stories I stumble accross and then unabashedly dive into, promptly misplacing my scuba gear.

The book on him, not only causes me to feel proud of him, but proud of the ANZAC spirit that he instigated and orchestraed, let alone bore witness to.
I wonder whether it is the same spirit now or like if all things it has been improved and modernised throughout the passage of time.

There are lots of new students with their dreams and illusions intact all queueing for ID cards, or looking cluelessly at maps, because despite graduating from secondary education, cartography, geography and orienteering weren’t their strongest points.

I begin to wish that the IOU GURPS would orthogonally project itself to reality, rather than just act as memory augmentation HUD in my minds eye.
People change but remain the same, the grace and class forlorn but hopeful given the current circumstances.

I also had the pleasure or misfortune of attending a book launch / meet the author session of a book that I thought would be relevant to my investigation on the definition and mathematical modeling of relationships and love, but instead turned out to be an attempt at mass simplication of determinstic hyperstereotypical numerology, but no justification was given for the choice of ruleset and significance associations.

So unlike the remainder of people attending I could see the author skillfully projecting, sight reading, physcoanalysing and hyperstereotyping the crowd before he got their birthdates, maybe my intuition is too keen, maybe my analytical ability spoils the magic of his supposed trick of divining what is best for people based on discrete set theory, linear algebra and largely astrology.

Of course knowing how the magic works, probably spoils the trick. When querying the author, I found that he had little interest in mathematics or indeed the causality of deterministic philosophy supporting his text (if you could call an A7 or A6 pink pocket size book a text ….) and that his origins were more rooted in Astrology and Palmistry.

Neither did he seem to appreciate my historical knowledge of number systems and the history and origins of numerology.

Personally as a recommendation to anyone who reads his book,that both you and you proposed partner undergone personality tests, have a realtionship discussion and identify both yourselves and each other, before deciding whether your love life really does add up.I also recommend that you believe in what you want to happen, because if you believe in it, it is more likely to happen, simply through your belief.

The bushfire seems to be all over the news,  and the public seems to be enthuastic to give despite fears of recession (which is interesting, the fact the we have known about  this recession for at least 5 before it was coming, and if I had my way, there would have been no ecomonic bailout, and society would be forced to regress to a prior state or to innovate in order to survive.), and it strikes me as odd at four particular things.

Firstly, the fact that arsonists give pyromanics a bad name. Pyromaniacs love fire, they like watching fires, lighting fires, feeling heat from fires. Most pyromaniacs know how to safely light and extinguish fires that won’t spread. This doesn’t mean they stupidly light fires that become bushfires and kill people. (I could say more on this point, but I won’t , else my rage ignite with passion and burn down people’s mentalspace)

Secondly, the fact that people are pretending to be victims and stealing donations, I mean come on, where is your respect, where is your honour , where is your pride ? Such everyone has their charity, but what else missing because of that ?

The IT Crowd says it best when they say “You wouldn’t steal a handbag. You wouldn’t steal a car. You wouldn’t steal a baby. You wouldn’t shoot a policeman. And then steal his helmet. You wouldn’t go to the toilet in his helmet. And then send it to the policeman’s grieving widow. And then steal it again”  (People do depraved things like this for two reasons, one for the lolz, two because they don’t think they just do ….)

Thirdly, the fact that people wait till disasters to help those that are victims of circumstance, instead of just always helping those who are victims of circumstance, day in and day out, why is quick fix charity to a temporary problem made more important than regular charity to regular people to constant problems.

Lastly, the fact that so many people were ignorant of the fires and hence it cost them their lives / their homes. The television media is all over the fires after they burned down parts of Victoria, but when the fires were burning and warnings and messages were broadcast over the Internet and radio, not many people got the message.

Ignorance has a significant cost. The weather on the news has flood warnings , so why not other disaster warnings. Also the ignorance of people to being aware that the area that they have residence is prone to bushfires / floods / etc.

Of course, my entire point is if people actually built biomes , then this wouldn’t be a problem as the atmosphere and environment would regulated but The Wilderness Society doesn’t seem to agree with that strategy for conservation, probably as something to do with their lack of influence and budget restrictions.

Best wishes,

Hope to catch up with people,

Benjamin Southall aka Appleman1234 :)

Holiday Paradox, Yumcha,Icicles and raspberries

Thursday, January 8th, 2009

Hi everyone,

With the Festive Season and New Year’s Celebrations now over, I have the time to pragmatically approach respite but that desire becomes enmancipated from focus, when I realise that given this was the Christmas we had when weren’t having Christmas, leaves me to marvel at unison between the best laid plans of mice and men being  sabotaged by hungry cats and implusive people and the irony of consistency that ensured our Festive chaotic hodgepodge that was our Christmas invovling lots of travelling, catching up with people and lots of interesting and curious surprises. (This sentence didn’t know when to stop, so I had just let it go or else it would have engaged me in a intextual battle for sentience)

I also realise know that despite the 6 or so weeks of deja vu and premonitions that frazzled my consciousness, the important reminders of Christmas were present regardless.

These included Gratitude, Respect, Hope, Awe, Tradition, Beauty, Peace,Truth,  Trust and Sacrifice. (As a side note I have deduced that sacrifice is quite important to the emotion called love, but that is a tangential interpolation for another time, an additional perpendicular side note, imagine cupid with a nerf missle projecticle instead his regular arrow).

The act of doing nothing implies that nothing is done, but inaction is still action just with a different direction.  The opposite of nothing is supposed to be everything, but yet how many of us manage to do everything  One always does something and that something can be anything, except it seems everything or nothing.

These concepts are such that when we intend or desire to nothing, we end up doing something. (This combined with the law of attraction, probably explains my Christmas, if you can follow it, if you can’t you could always get drunk or smile and nod politely as your mind boggles).

The Chinese Room gedanken got me thinking, the main of point it is that those that speak Chinese have both syntax and semantics in the transformation and communication of language, were as the person in the Chinese room only has syntax.

I wonder that if you gave him syntax that mapped syntax to semantics in a lookup mesh or table, would that make him just as capable at understanding Chinese as those outside the room.

I find that I often feel like Daria (I have been watching it lately) or I feel like the native speaker with understanding of the messages communicating wondering if what I communicate is actually reflected on and understood or just conveyed through Chinese rooms were the information is correctly or incorrectly parsed based on various syntax languages adopted by the systems and people around me.

I bumped my head the other day and it is still sore. Chance has nothing to do with Luck and the odds are such that given reason and choice, choice is taken regardless of purpose or rationality

Abrasive circumstances either result in dust or diamonds ….., which result is upto the the individual invovled.

Did you have a nice Christmas and New Years ?

Did you stumble across a surprise you didn’t expect ?

Best wishes

Benjamin Southall aka Appleman1234 :)

Vanishing Sizzler, Demonic Creations

Sunday, September 7th, 2008

Hey everyone,

I just discovered that the Queen St Mall Sizzler doesn’t exist. And that is such a shame. I remember when the Queen St Mall used to have a rollercoster at the top of it and used to have a LEGO playground. Such fund childhood memories.

As you probably know the words succubus and incubbus are names of demons that sleep with their victims and torment them. These words come from the Latin root cubare (“To lie”), and the prefixes in and sub, which mean on top and below respectively. Getting bored with just these demons, I began elaborating on less gender specific demons below using other Latin prefixes.

List of Demons

jugccubi I lie chained
juxtaccubi I lie beside
intracubbi I lie within
retrocubbi I lie behind
velocubbi I lie quickly
uncubbi I lie hooked
transcubbi I lie across
strepcubbi I lie twisted
fellacubbi I lie sucking
paccubbi I lie peacefully
regcubbi I lie straight
pravcubbi I lie crooked
phalacubbi I lie shining
percubbi I lie through
oedcubbi I lie swollen
odorcubbi I lie fragant
nudcubbi I lie naked
lenicubbi I lie gently
lacrimcubbi I lie crying
ignicubbi I lie on fire
contracubbi I lie against
concubbi I lie with
cirrcubbi I lie curled (tentacle)
aurcubbi I lie golden
augcubbi I lie growing
audicubbi I lie listening
ambicubbi I lie on both sides
amorcubbi I lie loving
abscubbi I lie away

I just finished fiddling around with indices referencing stuff, it is an a -1 , rather than a, just to spite you…

Saturday was spent with Aunt and Uncle from WA and was quite nice if not a very long day, I got up at 6am (went to bed a 1:30am) and then went to the Rocklea Markets…..

Hope you are having as much fun with assessment and other odds and ends as I am or am not,

Benjamin Southall aka Appleman1234 :)

Cholesky and the Paladin Matrix, CTF and other notes

Tuesday, August 12th, 2008

Hey everyone.

This has been a long time coming, but here it is, it will probably be disappointing as I don’t really feel like talking but meh. Lol I rambled on a whole bunch of interesting , funny and random stuff as usual. :)


Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Enjoy

Iteration and recursion, if at first you don’t succeed, if at first….

Sunday, July 6th, 2008

Hey,

Got my results back earlier than expected. Got deja vu as well, degree is going to be delayed by at least year. Got lost in the darkness of suburbian, well not lost, just took the largest figure of eight of my life to date, but that kind of makes sense considering the circumstances.

I would say I don’t know anymore, but that would imply that I knew anymore to begin with …., and that would be more than a misnomer. Why my past haunts me like an apparition I don’t know.

All the movies I see, I can’t recall whether I have seen them before in past or in my dreams, it seems academic isn’t about knowledge and understanding rather what one can demonstrate on a form of assessment, and it seems that my conditioned response to this is the mathematically stutter like skat, except out of tune.

The apathy is almost returning from the fits of boredom and escapism never worked but I don’t stop trying. I wonder why everything that is set, is set in jelly. Custard creams may taste nice, but looking at one’s waste in hindsight is nothing short of paralysis.

Freedom taken, dreams taken, memories taken, innocence taken, but what is given ?

I am not sure, and am really questioning things at the moment. Any momentum I once had seems to be a memory, 3 steps forward, 1 step back. Where have the dead butterflies landed ? Where has the fun gone ? Where is the passion ? What am I seeking ? And the sound I hear is the sound of the wind, as it runs through the town, twist and spin , twist and spin.

Resistance maybe measured in ohms, but repetition leads to boredom, boredom leads to apathy and apathy brings back its own significant challenges. Mechanic diagnostics lead to the ddos of the machine, I seem to adopted as my child. As much as I want to play games or even talk, I am not allowed to. I give some empathy to those who feel this helpless with real loved ones rathered than an antropomorphised network attached storage device.

Both potential and happiness elude at present and metaprogression might be the way forward.

Why aren’t systems optimal ? Why isn’t life optimal ?

I seek, but shall I find …

Benjamin Southall aka Appleman1234 :)

Dainty precocity, rinse and repeat and elaborate grandiose glass shards

Monday, June 30th, 2008

Greetings people,

The time of disentanglement is upon us. Finally free from the multiple integrands that ranged between t =0 and t = lots, I have the hourglass worth of time to quickly jot down some notes as to how life is , has been and will be.

Assessment is all over now, it should go well. Subjects are already choosen for next semester. Thousand Parsec wxPython client manual update finally got acheived today (after several delays and some disturbances). Ivanhoe has his memory back (the hdd was replaced) but his hands are paralysed (usb devices don’t received an address and hence aren’t automounted).

Ulrica (laptop) is world upto date and the only thing bothering me other than the luck of duck tape for the DVB-T aerial, is that my webcam mic isn’t recording in arecord or Audacity. Not much is happening so any invites are welcome.

Spheres of influence are interesting things, I might resume my metamodeling if I have the time,

Anyhow

Keep it secret , keep it safe,

Benjamin Southall aka Appleman1234

Alive but bombarded with reality….

Tuesday, May 13th, 2008

Hey everyone,

Apologies for the delay, things have been busy.

I really need to get Ivanhoe fixed and Audacity recording or mencoder recording a live video stream with sound. I walked 8 kms for Breast Cancer on Mothers Day, and an extra four km to get to and from the event. I also walked about 5kms on Saturday, so I am just walking along nicely.

I am really interested in the dispersion of food colouring in melting ice in a vacuum and the calculus (6D+ hypervolume integrals), partial differential equations and other mathematics which could model them.

I really need to get in touch with everyone, so if you want to get in touch or in contact with me, just let me know.

I should really add some discussion points, or observations up here, but if I did so, then you would all die of boredom at the sheer length of material i have accumulated since my last update.

Anyways I am off to get stuff done,

Best wishes and have fun

Benjamin Southall aka Appleman1234 :)

PS: Where do you hide ?

What is wrong with sighing ? *sigh*

Saturday, June 30th, 2007

Hey everyone,

In an attempt at another short blog post, why does everyone ask what is wrong if I sigh either online or offline and when I answer a response less than great to a “How are you ?” question ? Why is something wrong ? Why are we used to something being wrong? and what makes you think that people are going to tell what is wrong especially if it doesn’t concern you ?

Can people sigh in peace ? All these trained reactions and stereotypes make us more and more like NPCs in an MMORPG. That would be fun a Real Life MMORPG, I would so want to go questing :) . Cohesion is an element that is all too often lost in both reality and gameplay.

Thanks to Kerri, for introducting me to ” The Retro Toasters”, I like their music and their flickering background, although that may have been all the mushrooms I didn’t get to saunter in butter and feverishly devour.

*sigh* *smile* *giggle*

Complacency and high latency ensure redundancy especially with mood swings and ball pen dreams, can I borrow some syrup to douse the flaming pancakes in hope that they won’t be char-grilled ? Preferably not molasseses or golden syrup, maple or honey would be fine. But chances are you wouldn’t have any sweetness in that pantry of yours and if you did could you ship it in time ?

Benjamin Southall aka Appleman1234 :|